I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
