the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My vagina is officially offended.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
