Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid. http://tfl.nu/2kcb
  Replies (20) Good night (703) Bad night (4193) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon? http://tfl.nu/fld0
  Replies (66) Good night (7064) Bad night (1551) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself. http://tfl.nu/s9we
  Replies (64) Good night (1833) Bad night (4723) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night. http://tfl.nu/yws8
  Replies (9) Good night (8395) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit. http://tfl.nu/ajyk
  Replies (18) Good night (4003) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.

  (310): View more from California

  And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers. (310): And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow. http://tfl.nu/mkft
  Replies (26) Good night (4079) Bad night (1148)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie. http://tfl.nu/pbor
  Replies (16) Good night (693) Bad night (4465) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/hg6l
  Replies (37) Good night (9175) Bad night (1039) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down.. http://tfl.nu/gaw4
  Replies (6) Good night (1669) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern. http://tfl.nu/54kf
  Replies (16) Good night (3733) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back? http://tfl.nu/7gwj
  Replies (5) Good night (1323) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been http://tfl.nu/nato
  Replies (1) Good night (902) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass. http://tfl.nu/96n6
  Replies (7) Good night (2119) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke? http://tfl.nu/hphp
  Replies (10) Good night (973) Bad night (342) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....

  (1+44): View more from

  The baked potato bra?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered.... (1+44): The baked potato bra? http://tfl.nu/bc4d
  Replies (4) Good night (456) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt

Randomize