It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
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How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
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We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.