His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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