in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
