We won't sleep together?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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