She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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