Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
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Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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