i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I need moral support for this bender
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
