I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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