But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
