if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
