What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
