he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
