Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
