Christians are straight up FREAKS
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
