Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize