so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
