yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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