That's when you crack a 10am beer
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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