he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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