i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
