Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
