I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
one might say we're banned from that church
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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