I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
