we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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