Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
