The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
