I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
