wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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