my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
