dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
