$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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