he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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