He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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