my mouth tastes like poor choices
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
