So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
