I smell stomach acid.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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