my mouth tastes like poor choices
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
