Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

1:57 a.m. Where did you go???

(586): View more from Michigan

1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?

(586): View more from Michigan

2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?

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(586): 1:57 a.m. Where did you go??? (586): 1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding? (586): 2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in? http://tfl.nu/vrje

Replies (33) Good night (1739) Bad night (9045)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.

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(608): I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her. http://tfl.nu/5b2d

Replies (18) Good night (7480) Bad night (984)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely

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(610): yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely http://tfl.nu/qwih

Replies (7) Good night (2971) Bad night (1063)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Hippo gnu deer

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(440): Hippo gnu deer http://tfl.nu/wuid

Replies (17) Good night (5672) Bad night (1133)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.

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(918): In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you. http://tfl.nu/i5hi

Replies (6) Good night (1994) Bad night (913)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Houston, we have a squirter

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(704): Houston, we have a squirter http://tfl.nu/27k8

Replies (25) Good night (6683) Bad night (1545)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God

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(+44): I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God http://tfl.nu/m4vw

Replies (3) Good night (2361) Bad night (832)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.

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(708): Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night. http://tfl.nu/vsww

Replies (11) Good night (614) Bad night (1726)
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(410): View more from Maryland

You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip

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(410): You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip http://tfl.nu/bjin

Replies (4) Good night (1917) Bad night (630)
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(845): View more from New York

And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.

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(845): And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn. http://tfl.nu/8782

Replies (1) Good night (965) Bad night (439)
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(309): View more from Illinois

adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing

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(309): adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing http://tfl.nu/dxv4

Replies (5) Good night (988) Bad night (531)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.

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(717): Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together. http://tfl.nu/4ceo

Replies (6) Good night (1537) Bad night (557)
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(757): View more from Virginia

he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire

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(757): he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire http://tfl.nu/du1v

Replies (5) Good night (1442) Bad night (563)
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(630): View more from Illinois

How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?

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(630): How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday? http://tfl.nu/cltz

Replies (5) Good night (863) Bad night (512)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...

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(704): So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around... http://tfl.nu/dav9

Replies (0) Good night (782) Bad night (336)

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