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your parents love me but you hate me
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
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