But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
