Texts From Last Night

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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I look better un-naked...

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  (870): I look better un-naked... http://tfl.nu/umxx
  Replies (10) Good night (802) Bad night (3678)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.

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  (828): just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot. http://tfl.nu/vfy9
  Replies (26) Good night (12339) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  I was born with a shot glass in my hand

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  (941): I was born with a shot glass in my hand http://tfl.nu/41xg
  Replies (30) Good night (3661) Bad night (716)
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  (518): View more from New York

  im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.

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  (518): im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there. http://tfl.nu/bvrv
  Replies (27) Good night (4828) Bad night (1156)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.

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  (651): The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count. http://tfl.nu/0nix
  Replies (34) Good night (872) Bad night (4439)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.

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  (248): the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks. http://tfl.nu/qak2
  Replies (10) Good night (1054) Bad night (8618)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow

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  (714): when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow http://tfl.nu/3ljm
  Replies (14) Good night (950) Bad night (5489)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating

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  (309): I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time (1-309): I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating http://tfl.nu/74eg
  Replies (21) Good night (5105) Bad night (1435)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.

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  (920): Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be. http://tfl.nu/nyya
  Replies (2) Good night (1439) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.

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  (+44): I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand. http://tfl.nu/tiko
  Replies (2) Good night (884) Bad night (1375)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?

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  (205): Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that? http://tfl.nu/yb0a
  Replies (4) Good night (2042) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot

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  (404): the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot http://tfl.nu/9cq3
  Replies (5) Good night (1566) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.

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  (209): No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you. http://tfl.nu/dxdf
  Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.

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  (704): Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood. http://tfl.nu/f31d
  Replies (3) Good night (584) Bad night (1052)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived

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  (561): And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived http://tfl.nu/iher
  Replies (5) Good night (442) Bad night (876)

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