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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  there's a liquor store near my therapist

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i might give it a shot.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  He's a Shit stain on my heart

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  I love you.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth

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  These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.

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