You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize