please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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