before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
