It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
