My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
