I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
