Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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