we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
