Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
