He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
