Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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