Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
