no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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