No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
