I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
