she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
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