This is not my ceiling
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
