So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
