Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
