It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
