Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
