I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
