i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
