Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
