You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
